Fallout New Vegas For Pimps is a comedic "let's play" starring Aaron Yonda and Emre Cihangir, mainly filmed in Bethesda's Fallout New Vegas. It first aired on March 4, 2014 and ended on December 29, 2015. Although their first run has concluded, Aaron has indicated in Episode 28 of Fallout 4 Pimps that Game Society Pimps may return to New Vegas in the future.
This series of Fallout "let's play" sees the switch from console to PC versions, allowing the Game Society Pimps greater control over more elements of the game, including adding mods and using console commands.
The story revolves around the fictional character Fap P. Underboob, a courier on a quest for revenge.
The story of Fap is being retold by an unknown man as a tall tale and/or chronicling of Fap's adventures. Fap has recently been shot in the head and, after being revived, is wandering the Mojave wastes looking for the shooter. Along the way he meets many strange and zany characters whom he often views as comically stupid.
- Fap's Conscience voiced by Emre Cihangir (Episodes 1 - 45)
- Willow (Episodes 5 - 45)
- Veronica Santangelo (Episodes 11 - 31)
- Rex/Morgan Freeman voiced by Jason Stephens (Episodes 13 - 45)
- Arcade Gannon (Episodes 42 - 44)
|1||Fap P. Underboob||Mar 4, 2014||Link|
| The first episode sets up the back-story of Fap P. Underboob and how he came to be shot in the head. After his medical recovery, where a local doctor named Doctor Mitchell accesses his strengths and weaknesses, Fap learns the ropes of the Mojave Wastleland. He meets Sunny Smiles, a young lady with short hair, who shows Fap how to use his gun.
In hopes of getting to know his teacher more, Fap follows Sunny around who tries to get rid of mutant geckos hanging around wells. In their final location, Fap saves a Goodspring Settler getting attacked by the geckos and gets paid 50 bottle caps for his work.
The opening dialog by Emre parodies the Stranger's dialog from the film The Big Lebowski.
|2||Punching Animals||Mar 27, 2014||Link|
| While trying to collect flowers for Sunny, Fap finds some punching gloves in his inventory and practices boxing on geckos. He also finds a skeleton in a fridge, which Fap pretends it's not a reference to Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. He grabs the iconic fedora off of the skeleton and puts it on his head. It looks foolish on him because when in third person view, only the hat can be seen. Nonetheless, boxing gloves and fedora becomes Fap's signature outfit.
Finally finding some flowers, Fap heads back to Sunny, who teaches Fap how to make drugs. Having equipped Fap with the necessary skill sets for life in the Mojave, she recommends Fap go see Trudy who runs the saloon nearby.
However, Fap discovers that Trudy might be a bit of a jerk. When Fap asks if she knows anything about the people who shot him, she says to him that they were the ones who knocked her radio over and broke it. Fap is astonished by her lack of empathy, seeing how he was shot in the face while she worries about her radio.
Her jerkish attitude is further evident when Fap asks about the robot that rescued his life. Trudy strikes a sour note saying that she doesn't trust the robot and says it doesn't do much, implying the robot is useless. Fap sarcastically tells her that her radio might be more useful since it goes around begging for change and donates it to the orphanages around town.
Fap, feeling spiteful, punches her radio to make sure it's busted.
|3||Radscorpion T*ts||Apr 11, 2014||Link|
| Fap visits Victor, the robot who saved his life, to find out more about his attackers but he had no new information. On his way to a nearby town of Primm, Fap finds a ham radio, which he smashes, as well as boxing tape, which he cherishes and tries on. He also discovers that the "power rangers" that Trudy brought up in their conversation back at the saloon were not as cool as he first thought. They started attacking him when Fap tried to approach them.
Finally reaching the outskirts of Primm, a guard stops him and suggests Fap to go talk to Lt. Hayes. After listening to Lt. Hayes babble on about the "power rangers," Fap has some fun and launches a grenade at an escaped convict. He also finds a corpse of fellow courier belonging to Daniel Wyand back in his days as a Mojave Express courier. It seems Daniel Wyand was on his way delivering an oversized dice composed of fuzzy material.
Wanting to learn more about his delivery, Fap talks to Johnson Nash, his old supervisor during his days at the Mojave Express who likes to use odd phrases like, "useful as tits on a radscorpion."
Finding the Vikki and Vance Casino, Fap excitedly makes his way to the slots but realizes they are out of order. Fap playfully takes his anger on Primm Slim, the guard robot of the casino, but the robot does not take his actions lightly and tells Fap that "this is now a free fire zone."
At the end of the episode, Fap imitates Pee-wee Herman dancing on counters to Tequila in Pee-wee's Big Adventure.
This episode begins the quest "They Went That-a-Way."
|4||Deputy Big Spoon||Apr 26, 2014||Link|
| Fap heads to the Bison Steve Hotel to rescue Primm's deputy from his captors and finds a large spoon lying on the table next to the deputy. The voice in Fap's head excitedly tells Fap to take the big spoon, but Fap fails to understand what the big deals was. After freeing the deputy, Fap gives in and tries to equip the spoon but the game won't let him. He drops the spoon back on the table.
Learning from the deputy that Primm has no sheriff, Fap sets out to find a candidate. He starts his quest by going up on the roller-coaster tracks as per the suggestion of the voice in his head.
Fap fights some enemies and takes a selfie at a high point of the track, posting his selfie on "Apocalyptigram." This particular social media service allows users to modify their photos using filters with mushroom cloud, radiation, or mutation.
He finally finds a candidate for sheriff at a prison complex, a fellow by the name of Meyers, and convinces him to become the Sheriff of Primm. Unfortunately for him, he is a former convict and requires a pardon from the NCR to become a full fledged sheriff.
A Fallout For Pimps classic "Boat fly punching time" makes a brief return in this episode.
The quests played in this episode are "They Went That-a-Way" and "My Kind of Town."
|5||Helpful Hottie||May 14, 2014||Link|
| On his way to get a pardon for Meyers, Fap makes an unexpected friend on the road. It's a hot blond named Willow who just had her belongings stolen by thieves. Fap first introduces himself as the "roadside rapist" but quickly corrects himself, blaming his conscience for his rude introduction. He tries hitting on his new friend but she quickly expresses that she's not interested in what he has to offer. However, Willow does want a little bit of help finding her belongings. Fap, excited to find a new lady friend, doesn't want to screw-up his first unofficial date like fall in puddle, fart, and spill water on the girl. They head towards the outpost and talk about applying expired sunscreen. Later, Fap repairs his beloved boxing gloves at an overcharged cost.
Having finally made it to the outpost, Fap talks to Major Knight who can provide a pardon for Primm's new sheriff.
This episode continues the quest "My Kind of Town."
|6||Old Lady Murder||Jun 6, 2014||Link|
| Fap buys off Major Knight and gets a pardon for Primm's new sheriff. He also tries buying a new car but it's too expensive. Lacey, the store manager, offers a discount for sex but unfortunately, the sex only reduces the price by a little. Feeling down, Fap mindlessly talk to Willow about her obsessions with pencils.
Back in Primm, Fap notifies Meyers that he has been pardoned. Egotistical as he is, Fap declares himself the "roadside job creator" and the "roadside helper." His new title didn't benefit everyone however as Deputy Beagle was fired by his new boss.
Having procured some radscorpions, Fap asks Ruby to make radscorpion casserole she promised to do in an earlier episode. After getting his meal, he punches Ruby supposedly for being a jerk to him.
After another "boat fly punching time," Fap finds Willow's belongings from her thieves. Willow returns the favor by giving Fap some boxing lessons, which he likes since he's a boxer, and a radio, which he doesn't like due to his hatred of radios (see episode 2 "Punching Animals"). By this time, Fap has gotten quite close with Willow as she would start poking his balls with a stick. (The ball touching is usually accompanied by a "magic ball touching sound.")
This episode completes the quest "My Kind of Town" and continues "They Went That-a-Way."
|7||Drivable Cars in Fallout!||Jun 16, 2014||Link|
| Stopping by at a T-Rex shaped building, Fap picks out one Dinkey the Dino replica from hundreds of other ones for his girlfriend Willow. After arriving in the town of Novac, Fap is told by Manny Vargas, a Novac guard, that he will give Fap information on the chequer suited man if Fap deals with the ghoul problem Novac has been having.
Later in this episode, he gets keys to a new vehicle. Fap pretends that the key is for a shiny 1934 Ford but the key only fits in a rusty old truck. They still have fun driving it and they run over some brahmin.
This episode begins the quest "Come Fly With Me."
|8||Invisible Monsters||Jul 5, 2014||Link|
| Fap finds the source of the ghouls threatening Novac, a prewar rocket facility called the REPCONN Test Site. He learns from a friendly ghoul named Jason Bright that the good ghouls are under-attack and some feral ghouls managed to wander into Novac during the fighting. Jason sends Fap to find the aggressors and save the good ghouls. Along the way, Fap attends an invisible Nightkin classroom and makes fun of a line of ghouls in funny looking space costumes.
In this episode, Aaron and Emre try doing highbrow comedy for a few seconds.
This episode continues the quest "Come Fly With Me."
|9||Violated By A Granny||Jul 13, 2014||Link|
| After killing the aggressors, who turn out to be Nightkin, a sub species of Super Mutant who can turn invisible, the ghouls quickly put Fap to work repairing the rockets at the test site. They make fun of Chris Haversam, who think he's a ghoul and they bump into Willow's old companion Willow likes to call the Big Guy. Fap tries to assert his dominance make sure Willow is interested in him not the Big Guy, which didn't turn out to be much of a problem since the Big Guy didn't seem interested. Fap later does get violated by Old Lady Gibson, quickly losing his confidence as an alpha male.
In this episode, Aaron and Emre comes up with new onomatopoeia for space. It first starts out with "boing boing boing boing" which turns into "loin loin loin loin" but this becomes corrupted to "groin groin groin groin" and finally becomes "penis penis vagina vagina."
This episode continues the quest "Come Fly With Me."
|10||Chris Haversam's an Idiot||Jul 18, 2014||Link|
| After telling Chris Haversam that he's an idiot of the umpteenth time and getting everything together to repair the rockets, the ghouls leave for space, completing the request from Manny Vargas to get rid of the ghouls. Manny lives up to his end of the deal and tells Fap that the chequer suited man's name is Benny, and he might be at Boulder City.
At one of the facilities, Fap receives a wig from a ghoul named Jessica, which turn out to be quite useful. He continues to wear the wig until the season finale and even has it repaired later in the series.
At the very end of the episode, Willow scares Fap by pranking to fall ill to poison.
The quests played in this episode were "Come Fly With Me" and "They Went That-a-Way."
|11||Paintball in Fallout||Jul 24, 2014||Link|
| Arriving right in the middle of a shootout between the NCR and a local gang named the Great Khans in Boulder City, Fap is asked to defuse the situation. Though Fap jokingly yells out "Khan" like Kirk does in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982), once brought to their leader Jessup, Fap successfully negotiates a truce. Fap tells everyone in the shootout that their little paintball game was over and that it ended in a tie. He then once again sets out on his rusty old car but this time he goes off-road and flips his car. As the car was crashing, an NCR ranger starts talking to him, briefly suspending Fap and his car in air.
After a few encounters with forceful women with STDs, Fap meets a new companion named Veronica, who he suspects is a valley girl. He turns out to be correct as she herself confirms this. He brags that it's so obvious when she's got a pneumatic gauntlet on her hand, just like every valley girl ever.
The quests played in this episode were "Boulder City Showdown" and "They Went That-a-Way."
|12||Girlfriend From Space||Aug 7, 2014||Link|
|Fap informs Willow of his new girlfriend Veronica, who he dresses in a space suit. He then sets of to New Vegas to finally confront Benny and along the way decides his quest is to get all the girlfriends he can. He arrives at Freeside, a New Vegas slum, and becomes obsessed in obtaining a child’s toy gun. When he finally acquires the gun, he thinks it's useless. Fap then decides he would take the 'hipster' entrance into New Vegas because Freeside had too many people in it. He is then tasked by a man called Crandon to help his little community.|
|13||Booty Guard||Aug 13, 2014||Link|
| Seemingly forgetting his deal with Crandon, Fap goes back to Freeside. Upon being refused entry to the New Vegas Strip, Fap goes to the local greaser gang called the Kings to seek help. The King (the leader of the Kings) gives Fap some missions to accomplish before helping him get into the Strip. While visiting The King, Fap meets Rex, The King's robotic talking dog with the voice of Morgan Freeman, and starts to take a liking to the canine.
This episode begins the quest "G.I. Blues."
|14||Never Mind The STDs||Sep 4, 2014||Link|
| Fap looking to get on the good side of The King, goes on a investigation to find out about a shady operation run by a bodyguard named Orris. Fap pays 200 to hire Orris to see if his operation was legitimate but surprisingly, Orris does nothing from the very beginning. His followers had to kill most of the dangerous thugs roaming Freeside. At the end of Orris's shift, Fap confronts Orris about his shady operation. Orris and his thugs start attacking Fap but his follower make easy work of them.
The King, impressed with the investigation, now asks him to check out the attacks on his men by the NCR. Fap heads to the Old Mormon Fort to talk to some of The King's friends recovering there. At the Old Mormon Fort, Fap meets Julie Farkas, the spiky-haired doctor on site. She cures Fap's STD, and asks him to help the locals addicted to alcohol.
Throughout this episode, Fap gets a few warnings. First, he is told about a gang of old ladies attacking the locals. Fap is especially frightened by this as he was raped by Old Lady Gibson only recently. The second warning came from a doctor named Arcade Gannon, who cautions Fap of cock lacerations, possibly caused by sharp women (sharp as in "smart").
The quests played in this episode were "G.I. Blues" and "Nothin' But a Hound Dog."
|15||Hot Call Ghoul||Sep 10, 2014||Link|
| Fap talks to an NCR missionary standing at the edge of Freeside in one of the squatter camps. He offers to give Fap a free meal but then he says he needs to first quiz Fap on NCR history to verify NCR citizenship. After getting all the right answers, the missionary decides not give out a meal like promised but rather a passcode to enter the soup kitchen.
Fap later talks to a homeless ghoul named Rotface, who's got the inside scoop on everything that occurs in Freeside, only to find out more than he can handle.
At the beginning of the episode, Fap talks to prostitutes' butt cheeks for fun.
The quests played in this episode are "Missionary," "High Times," and the continuation of "G.I. Blues."
|16||Monster Mansion||Sep 25, 2014||Link|
| Fap asks Jacobstown's Doctor Henry who might be able to help The King's dog. Rex (or Morgan Freeman) is suffering from mental degradation. The doctor informs Fap that he will require a healthy dog brain to operate on Rex.
The quest played in this episode is "Nothin' But a Hound Dog."
|17||Morgan Freeman Dog||Oct 6, 2014||Link|
| Fap goes to Old Lady Gibson and kills her to get a new dog brain for Rex. Thanks to Doctor Henry's surgery, Rex is now able to have a full conversation with Fap. Thinking it would be a good prank, Fap shoves chocolate into a nightstalker on the operating table so when the doctor goes to dissect it, he would make inaccurate conclusions to his research.
In the doctor's hallway, Willow pulls Fap aside and says she wants to talk. She says that she's gotten to know Fap better and tells her that he's her best friend. Emre, his conscience, warns Fap that he might now be friend-zoned. After all, he does get a conciliatory "best friends sweetroll." Though Fap asks if they could be more than friends, Willow says she doesn't want to think about it.
The quest played in this episode is the continuation of "Nothin' But a Hound Dog."
|18||Huge Jackpot||Oct 28, 2014||Link|
| Getting sick of Freeside, Fap tries to ask The King about a passport to enter the New Vegas Strip but he hasn't done enough favors for The King.
Fap heads to the Atomic Wranger casino and pays the barkeep to spread rumors and improve his reputation so people like The King would like him more. (The amount Fap paid was enough for him to enter the Strip. Aaron and Emre realize this at the very end of this episode.) He also takes on a mission to collect debt and find recruits for prostitution at the casino.
Since he was at the casino, Fap couldn't miss this opportunity to hit the slots. He chooses a slot machine right next to the man with a double goatee (also known as a beard) and starts cranking the shaft. The slots made little sense to anyone but Aaron was able to win 120 caps.
Later, The King sends one of his goons to give him a squirrel on a stick for all of the good work he had done, which enrages Fap since he thinks he's being patronized.
The quest played in this episode is the continuation of "G.I. Blues."
|19||S*x Bot||Dec 10, 2014||Link|
| Doing The King some favors, Fap gets rid of the squatters living in the corners of Freeside. Although Fap initially wanted to spare the squatters' lives, he finds a squatter who looked just like Adam Koralik and decides he must kill him. Unfortunately, this ends up riling all of the squatter and Fap and his friends had to kill them all. He later visits the soup kitchen, which has been instrumental in attracting the NCR squatters The King hates so much.
After skipping around town singing a call and response cover of My Favorite Things from the classic The Sound of Music (call being the "favorite things," response being the words "my ass, your ass"), Fap takes hush money from Pacer (one of The King's men) who has been escalating the fight with the NCR and disturbing the peace. Fap excited to break his promise with Pacer and rat him out, goes straight to The King but their conversation was interrupted by one of his men. He informs The King that a fight broke out between Pacer and the NCR. Fap agrees to help end the fight.
After becoming the hero in the King's eyes, he decides Fap should get a reward. He tells Fap that there's something special waiting for him at Mick and Ralph's. He finally gets the passport he had been working so hard to get. Before entering the New Vegas Strip with the passport, Fap decides to finishes his quest to recruit some prostitutes for the Atomic Wrangler casino. After a little convincing, the ghoul cowgirl Beatrix Russell quits her job as a guard at the Old Mormon Fort and becomes a prostitute at the Atomic Wrangler.
After dealing with some crazy drunk, Fap find his second recruit, Santiago, the mustache man in the suit and a smooth talker.
Before finding their third recruit, they are interrupted by a gang of three old ladies in matching pink. They were notorious among the people of Freeside for their savage killings but they prove to be no match for Fap and his gang. They find the third recruit, a sexbot named Fisto at the Cerulean Robotics. Once outside the Cerulean Robotics, Fap dresses Willow in a skimpy leopard skin outfit. (She would continue wearing the outfit until episode 38 "Brotherhood of Stank.")
In this episode, Emre dismisses the current trend of squatting when shitting.
The quests played in this episode are "Someone to Watch Over Me," "Wang Dang Atomic Tango," and the continuation of "G.I. Blues."
|20||Double Galifianakis||Dec 31, 2014||Link|
| Fap, in the mood for fun, decides to spend the night with the ghoul prostitute Beatrix but he has a plan. He's going to look at Willow while doing it. Unfortunately, Willow chooses to respect his privacy and Fap totally regrets spending the night with the ghoul.
Having had enough of Freeside, Fap finally presents the passport to enter the New Vegas Strip and is amazed at the size of the place. One of the first interactions within the Strip involved a securitron telling Fap that he's expected by the owner of the Strip, a man by the name of Mr. House, and was told to meet him at Lucky 38. Later, they find two Zach Galifianakis, one as a weapons salesman and another as a gambler almost out of caps. He closes out the episode by getting a blow job from a hooker.
|21||Chainsaw Massacre||Jan 15, 2015||Link|
| Fap finds another part of the the New Vegas Strip and harasses an entertainer standing around named Billy Knight. Apparently his gig is to just stand around.
After being recommended Vault 21 for a place to stay, Fap and his gang goes to check it out. Fap immediately tries to sexually harass Sarah the receptionist but Fap fails to get any action and heads to his room. Unfortunately for Fap, the Vault is built like a maze and he gets lost, wondering into other people's rooms and telling them to get out of what he thinks is his room.
After finding his room and assigning where his companions sleeps, Fap heads out to get dinner and gamble at Tops. Emre wants Fap to get the "Strip Stake," which he explains is a mix of Beer Scotch Vodka, Whiskey, and a piece of stake.
After exchanging NCR money for chips multiple times (as they would only exchange 40 at a time), Aaron plays Blackjack and slots. Yet again, Aaron does extremely well at slots to Emre's bewilderment.
|22||Yes Man, No Man||Feb 5, 2015||Link|
| At the Tops casino, Fap finally faces Benny/Christopher Walken, the man who attempted to kill Fap at the beginning of the series. After threatening Benny, asking him if there's even one reason not to kill him, Benny says he's got five, needlessly upping the tension. Ultimately, Benny asks Fap to meet him at the Presidential Suite. Fap makes a counter offer saying he's got five conditions, one of them being that he agrees never to perform in Peter Pan Live again.
Meeting up at the suite, Benny asks how he found him. Fap shows him the lighter the Khans asked him to return. Interestingly, Benny doesn't get the gesture and says that the lighter was something that was passed on for generations and it has at one point been in his great great grandfather's ass.
Trying to get out of the situation, Benny tries to play victim and, to Emre's astonishment, Fap lets him leave. Not surprisingly, it turns out that Benny had sent an ambush, which was quickly dealt with by his team.
Looking around the presidential suite, Fap finds some fresh apples, a rarity in a post apocalyptic world. Additionally, Fap tries to dress Veronica in sexy sleepwear but doesn't end up following through.
In Benny's old room, Fap meets a jolly robot named "Yes Man." The Yes Man cannot lie and he reveals Benny's intent to kill Mr. House, the owner of the New Vegas Strip. Feeling ambitious, Fap asks the Yes Man how he can take over the strip. Yes Man, being unable to lie, tells Fap that he should install computations stored in Yes Man to the Lucky 38's Mainframe. At this time, Fap goes ahead and brands Emre, "No Man," for his negativity.
In this episode, Aaron gives out a PSA to parents of young children not to let their child play with toy cars.
The quests played in this episode are "Ring-a-Ding-Ding" and "Wild Card: Ace in the Hole."
|23||Ortal S*x||Feb 21, 2015||Link|
| Leaving Benny's casino, Fap is greeted by Vulpes Inculta, who invites him to go meet Caesar of the Legion.
But first thing's first. Fap must meet with Mr. House, who was waiting for him ever since he arrived at the Strip, and enters Mr. House's establishment Lucky 38. Victor the robot, greets Fap and tells him that his companions must stay but allows Willow to come along. Emre suspects this might be "hot privilege."
Fap finally gets to meet Mr. House, albeit being a jpeg of a green man on a computer screen. Mr. House orders him to go retrieve the Platinum Chip Benny stole from Fap. Mr. House and suspects Benny has ran off to seek refuge at Caesar's camp. Additionally, Mr. House wants Fap to go check out his secret at the weather monitoring station.
Having finished his conversation with Mr. House, Fap looks around the vacant Lucky 38 and discovers the cocktail lounge. There he finds a pair of glasses lying around and think it would be nice if he had both a monocle and an eye-patch or two eye-patches but he puts those ideas aside for the future. Finding tons of Nuka-Cola and Sunset Sarsaparilla, he thinks it was a time well spent at Lucky 38.
Outside the building, Emily Ortal, a scientist from the Followers of the Apocalypse, greets Fap and has Fap bug Lucky 38. Unfortunately, a counter measure is immediately activated. Afterwards, he has sex with Emily Ortal and the sex was so good that even after sex, he glitched out and can't stop doing the motion.
The quests played in this episode are "Wild Card: Change in Management" and "The Moon Comes Over the Tower."
|24||Pokemon in Fallout!||Mar 4, 2015||Link|
| After a quick visit to the doctors at the Old Mormon Fort, Fap heads to Mick and Ralph's. He's got news about an upgrade on the Pip-Boy. Unfortunately, the owner of the place isn't in a position to do upgrades after losing a huge deal with the Omertas, who run a casino called the Gomorrah.
Once at Gomorrah, Fap criticizes the stripper cage saying they are not up to code and thinks the hooker business is a front for pillow liquidation company. Fap, in a crabby mood, picks a fight with a random gambler and receives services from a male prostitute in order to look open-minded in front of Willow, who still hasn't warmed up to having sex with Fap.
Later, Fap gets to have some fun time with prostitutes Dazzle and Joana and has Joana files his taxes in bed (or so he jokes).
|25||Cool Ranch Carlitos||Mar 14, 2015||Link|
| After sex, Joana confides to Fap about her troubles being a prostitute at Gomorrah. She says she misses her lover Carlitos (Doritos). Carlitos used to work at the Gomorrah but became a wanted man after his feud with his superior, Cachino. Now Joana's stuck at the Gomorrah without her lover and she feels like she can't go on with life as a prostitute. Fap says he'll help but Joana doubts Fap's sincerity saying that she's never gotten anything for free in life. Fap jokes that the STD he gave her was free and he feels guilty about it.
Finding Carlitos was easy. Apparently he was staying at the same hotel Fap was staying at. Once Fap gets Carlitos to look up from his soup, Carlitos passionately tells Fap that he's ready to help Joana escape. Asking why Carlitos never tried to help Joana before, he replies that the only way to leave the Gomorrah was in a body-bag. Fap, misunderstanding the situation, thinks Joana can disguise herself as a man in a body-bag.
After stopping by at the Lucky 38 to pick up the golden gloves and fooling around on stage at standup comedy night, Fap meets up with Joana and two of her prostitute friends.
They leave without a hitch and Joana is reunited with Carlitos. Fap was easily able to use his silver tongue and lie to the Omerta thugs who chased after Joana and her friends.
This episode begins the playthrough of the quest "Bye Bye Love."
|26||F*ck You Lookin At!||Mar 27, 2015||Link|
| Fap heads back to Gomorrah to find out more about Cachino, who feuded with Carlitos, but the Gomorrah employees are less than polite. All they have to say is "What the fuck you looking at?" Fap finally finds Cachino and when he does, he realizes that Cachino is the worst offender of them all, saying the word "fuck" after almost every word. After Fap presents blackmail material about a backroom deal, Cachino softens up.
Learning from the men at the Gomorrah, Fap tries to communicate with the word "fuck," which ends up in a hilarious exchange of the word "fuck."
Later, he kills Clanden, the man with a sick mind, involved in bringing in dark money to the casino.
This episode begins the playthrough of the quest "How Little We Know."
|27||Pimp Boy 3 Billion||April 1, 2015||Link|
| Before he does anything else, Fap takes this opportunity to live out his dream and become a dancer in a cage. Having dealt with their problems, everyone likes him now at Gomorrah and to Fap's dismay, nobody was curious to know "what the fuck (he was) looking at" anymore. Having one last thing to do, he sits down on a couch and let's his followers kill the Gomorrah bosses. Now that the Gomorrah weapons deal with the NCR was off, Fap tells Mick about the good news that the Omertas will buy weapons from them again. Mick rewards Fap with the Pimp-Boy 3 Billion.
This episode completes the playthrough of the quest "How Little We Know."
|28||Sexually Transmitted Freedom||April 8, 2015||Link|
| Finally determined to kill Benny, Fap leaves Freeside/New Vegas Strip and makes his way across the desert to Caesar's camp where Benny was being held. After multiple attempts at impressing legionaires with his new Pip-Boy, he tries making new friends. Fap buys a slave, has sex with her, and frees her. He also meets a man in armor literally made out of plates and then he finally talks to Caesar, the leader of the Legion. Caesar, impressed with all the things Fap had accomplished, assigns him on a mission to destroy, Mr. Houses's weapons cache. On his way out, Fap taunts Benny, telling him that Caesar has allowed him to decide how he will die.
At the very end of the episode, the word "meanwhile" appears followed by a aerial view of the slave that Fap freed lying dead in the middle of the desert.
This episode begins the playthrough of the quest "Render Unto Caesar."
|29||Bye Bye Benny||April 15, 2015||Link|
| Fap fights several rounds in the Legion's arena, which wasn't much of a challenge thanks to Willow and her shotgun. Caesar has Fap to blow up Mr. House's secret bunker at the weather station. In retaliation, Mr. House deploys robots to stop them but his efforts proved unsuccessful. Once back in Caesar's tent to report on success, Caesar allows Fap to kill Benny. Fap brings Benny to the arena so that Willow can kill him with a shotgun and loot his corpse.
This episode continues the quest "Render Unto Caesar."
|30||260 Year Old Virgin||April 24, 2015||Link|
| After talking to Rex/Morgan Freeman, Fap finds out that there's a boy named Jimmy who fell down a well. He decides to go rescue the boy but when he got there, he was already turned into a bag a bones. Although Fap's two companions seemed angry about Jimmy's death, they had to move on and they head to Lucky 38 to destroy Mr. House once and for all.
After having a quick chat with Jane the robot, who tells Fap that she takes care of Mr. Houses's every needs, he goes to the big screen to talk to Mr. House. Mr. House demands the platinum chip that Fap was supposed to deliver before he got ambushed by Benny/Christopher Walken. Not finding Mr. House's ambitions all that important, Fap goes down to the control room to kill Mr. House lying in his medical pod. Fap uses his boxing talents and punches Mr. House to death.
At the end of the episode, Fap talks to a Mogrol and mimics all of the ways the people of New Vegas treat his special dog Rex.
The quests played in this episode are "The House Has Gone Bust!" and the continuation of "Render Unto Caesar."
|31||Ant Prostate Exam||May 6, 2015||Link|
| Back at the Legion camp, Caesar approves of Fap's work killing Mr. House and now wants Fap to convince the Boomers to side with the Legion. The Boomers are former members of Vault 34 occupying the Nellis Air Force Base and are extremely trigger happy. Once Fap and his gang approaches the base, rockets start flying and it eventually kills one of his followers, Veronica. Once Fap reaches the gate, the Boomers welcome Fap into their base. Although Fap has an itch to kill the Boomers, he decides to lay off since he wants their explosives for the Legion.
He wonders around their base meeting Pearl, who leads the Boomers, and a fellow named Jack, who is smitten with a girl who works at the Crimson Caravan Company nearby.
In order to gain their trust, Fap starts doing some odd jobs. He first talks to Raquel, who tells him that there's a pest problem in one of their buildings.
The quests played in this episode are "Ant Misbehavin'" and the continuation of "Render Unto Caesar."
|32||Ginger Lovin'||May 28, 2015||Link|
| Yet again, another person comments on Rex and tells Fap to keep it under control or they will. Aaron and Emre wonder if this could be a great pick-up line.
Fap arrives at the Crimson Caravan Company, where he witnesses some of the employees bullying the brahmin. Fap attempts to raid their safe but notices that an employee is staring right in his direction.
Later, he finds Janet, the very girl Jack has been dying to meet. It seems she has similar feeling for Jack but she's unable to leave the company due to her new manager, Alice McLafferty.
After having another go at stealing from the company safe and this time being successful, Fap successfully negotiates with Alice McLafferty to release Janet with her pay.
Jack and Janet are finally united and Fap sticks around to hear Jack hit on Janet saying "if you can't keep the thing under control, I will."
The quests played in this episode are "Young Hearts" and the continuation of "Render Unto Caesar."
|33||Pete and Repeat||Jun 10, 2015||Link|
| Fap gives Raquel, Boomers' master-at-arms, some missiles since she claims their stock is low. He has a good idea why they've got low supply considering they're so trigger happy. After giving more missiles, Fap realizes that he still hasn't gotten enough trust to convince the Boomers to join the alliance with the legion so Fap runs around the base doing more boring odd jobs for the residents. He helps Loyal with his solar rays and pretends to listen to Pete who runs the museum.
Finally after all the trouble, Pearl tells Fap that he has gained their trust but has one more thing she wants him to do and sends Fap to Loyal. Loyal wants to salvage a fighter jet the Boomers call the "lady in the water." In order to do this, Fap is going to have to go underwater and attach ballasts to the jet. Asking how he's going to breathe underwater, Loyal says he's going to have to hold his breath. Loyal is such a jokester. He suggests Fap go talk to Jack who puts together a "rebreather" with some junk Fap suggested he use as components.
The quest played in this episode is "Volare!"
|34||Trust Aquaman||Jun 23, 2015||Link|
| Fap goes underwater with his rebreather to salvage the jet. While he does this, Fap and his conscience, Emre, discuss the special abilities of Aquaman and whether he can drink a sunset sarsaparilla underwater. After attaching the ballasts, Fap brings the jet above the water and Pearl, on the behalf of the Boomers, agree to help the Legion out. Finally freed from the base, Fap heads back to the Legion camp to report on a successful negotiation with the Boomers. Caesar, a natural leader that he is, has a new mission ready for Fap. This time he wants to extend their alliance to the White Glove Society, a high-class dining community with a taste for cannibalism. So Fap heads back to the New Vegas Strip to negotiate their alliance with the White Glove Society.
After body shaming a woman celebrating on the sidewalk, Fap enters the Ultra-Luxe, run by the White Glove Society.
This episode completes the playthrough of the quest "Volare!"
|35||People Eating People||Jul 11, 2015||Link|
| After talking to some White Glove Society members, who appear to not care about letting everyone know about their cannibalistic tendencies, Fap heads to their bathhouse, which he is greatly impressed by. In one of the bathhouse lounge, he finds three customers just quietly sitting around a table and decides that they must be playing a game of "Cram," where players cram ham up their ass. Fap tries to engage these three strangers with a game of Clue, assinging them characters of the game but they continue to sit around quietly. Having had enough of the silence, Fap punches them to death.
He talks to Marjorie of the White Glove Society but she wants nothing to do with the Legion and rejects the alliance. Fap later finds a man sitting at the counter named Heck Gunderson, who's looking for his son. His son is locked up in a cell, ready to be cooked up as food for the White Glove Society and asks for Fap's help. Fap, the good hero that he is, agrees to help.
The quests played in this episode are "Beyond the Beef," "Pheeble Will," and the continuation of "Render Unto Caesar."
|36||Paladin Toaster||Jul 26, 2015||Link|
| Fap rescues Heck's son and finds another man for them to eat, which finally convinces the White Glove Society to join the Legion's alliance.
Reporting back with success, Caesar now wants Fap to head to the Hidden Valley bunker and destroy the Brotherhood of Steel. Once in Hidden Valley, he finds a paladin toaster and a new outfit that makes him look like "Tron."
In the beginning of this episode, Aaron and Emre discuss whether Winnie the Poo is for girls and whether Star Wars is a girl's movie because it has a Disney princess in it. The Yes Man confirms that they are both correct.
The quests played in this episode are "Beyond the Beef," "Pheeble Will," and the continuation of "Render Unto Caesar."
|37||Super Mutant Nerd||Aug 2, 2015||Link|
| Willow reverts to her original outfit. Later, Fap, yet again, gains infamy with the NCR. Fap informs them they, the NCR, has gained "Fap Infamy."
Fap runs into a deactivated robot named Rhonda and decides to fix her. Once on her feet, the robot tells her that she needs to find her owner Tabitha. They soon find Tabitha and discovers that Tabitha is a nightkin with a blond wig on her head. Fap becomes good friends with her since they are wig buddies.
Later, two centaurs appear and Fap lauches a missle at them. He zooms in so close that Emre, who finds centaurs repulsive, can see up close how the centaur body works.
The quests played in this episode are "Still in the Dark" and the continuation of "Render Unto Caesar."
|38||Brotherhood of Stank||Aug 22, 2015||Link|
| Once he gets to the bunker maintained by the Brotherhood of Steel, he was stripped of his clothes and taken to their leader, Elder McNamara. Elder McNamara forces Fap to hunt and kill the ranger who has been on the their radar. Fap had an explosive collar put on him so that he cannot leave until the ranger is killed.
Clothed and on the road again, Fap sits down at the fireplace with Willow.
He continues with the adventures and tries to scare one of the members of the Brotherhood. Later, he sits in a classroom ready to learn the "principles of fusion" and witnesses a a member of the Brotherhood drinking out of the toilet.
Fap later makes fun of the comb-over Head Paladin Hardin (or "Hair Paladin" as he would like to call him) who has ambitions to replace Elder McNamara.
This episode features part two of the disturbing "family orgasm talk," which is a bit in which the son tries to speed up his mother's orgasm so he can get the attention he needs from his parents."
The quests played in this episode are "Still in the Dark" and the continuation of "Render Unto Caesar."
|39||Self Destructive Behavior||Aug 28, 2015||Link|
| Fap finds a self-destruct terminal in the Brotherhood's quarters but does not have keycards to unlock it. He goes around collecting keycards and even tells Elder McNamara that he's going to take a selfie with them. It's apparently the new trend.
After activating the self-destruct terminal (and Aaron discussing that "Anal Cortex" would be his ideal password to unlock self-destruction), Fap runs out for safety.
The bunker explodes and Fap returns to Caesar to report on the status of the Brotherhood. Caesar reveals to Fap that he has a medical condition and has him fetch some medical supplies.
This episode advances the quest "Render Unto Caesar" and begins the playthrough of the quest "Et tumor, Brute."
|40||Bulletproof Bosoms||Sep 15, 2015||Link|
| Upon arrival to the medical center, Fap gets treated by Doctor Usanagi. She fixes his injuries, installs brain implants, and decrease his radiation poisoning. Unfortunately, his first request to get Willow boob implants (to make them bulletproof) was ignored. The new brain implant pokes his talking tumor, Emre, in the elbow.
Back at the Legion camp, Mark III Auto-Doc operates on Caesar and removes Caesar's tumor. Upon recovering from the surgery, Caesar assigns Fap on a mission to kill President Kimball of the NCR.
This episode completes the playthrough of the quest "Et tumor, Brute" and continues "Render Unto Caesar."
|41||Exploding Teddy Bears||Oct 7, 2015||Link|
| Before killing the NCR president, Fap wants to get hitched with Willow. Being an assassin is a dangerous job and all assassins get married before they murder. In order to win Willow's heart, Fap goes on a quest to find her 40 pencils. His conscience wonders if women like pencils because it contains the word "penis" when spelled wrong.
After finding all 40 pencils, Willow says she misses J.T., the dog she used to travel with, so it was time to find her old dog. Fap goes back to the Big Guy to buy J.T. from him. However, Willow wants J.T. to be her dog and doesn't really appreciate his gesture. Fap becomes angry that Willow was being difficult but Fap manages to convince J.T. to become Willow's dog. Willow was so excited, she gives Fap exploding teddy beards as a gift, which made Fap excited. To celebrate, Fap starts throwing them everywhere.
|42||Ya Mon||Oct 13, 2015||Link|
| Fap goes to the Old Mormon Fort and gets Arcade Gannon on his side in preparation for the upcoming battle surely to come after killing the NCR president. He later goes to Mick and Ralph's to get his wig fixed and chats with Gannon to learn about him a little bit.
Back at the strip, Fap talks to Yes Man (or Ya Mon as Fap would like to rename him) and transfers him onto Lucky 38's mainframe. Yes Man successfully takes over Lucky 38.
Fap checks out the securitrons Mr. House has been working on in the basement and heads back up to Yes Man's main screen room. There, he proposes to Willow saying he wants to repopulate the earth with their children. The land would be renamed Earth P. Underboob after his name.
Afterwards, Willow tells Fap that she wants to cook some meals for him. She has a list of things she wants Fap to collect. He didn't have to look far because all the items on the list was "mysteriously" placed inside a Freeside thug's corpse and Willow was able to make Sweet Cakes for Fap.
The quest "Wild Card: Change in Management" is completed in this episode.
|43||S*x With Willow||Nov 1, 2015||Link|
| Fap tries his hardest to convince Willow to have sex him but she isn't interested. As they swing by the Strip, Willow finally comes around. She dances naked for Fap and has sex. Fap closes his eyes so that his conscience Emre can't see it.
Fap finally meets up with the Legion spy Cato Hostilius, who has been on the lookout by the dam where the NCR President is expected to make a speech.
The following morning, Fap makes his way down to the Hoover Dam (which is supposedly made entirely out of vacuum cleaners) and plans the assassination. The plan Fap comes up with is to just simply toss an exploding teddy bear at the NCR President. As the President steps out of the vertibird, Fap throws a teddy bear right next to the him, exploding the entire area. In the crossfire, J.T. dies but Willow, still dazzled by their sex earlier, decides they're going to have sex right then and there. After sex, they find Gannon and J.T. miraculously back to life.
The quest played in the episode is "Arizona Killer."
|44||Old Peoples Brigade||Dec 8, 2015||Link|
| Fap has his follower Gannon assemble a group of old people (called the Enclave remnants) to fight in the upcoming war at the Hoover Dam.
Fap goes back to Caesar but tells him to wait before they attack because Fap wants Gannon to recruit his group of old people first.
Fap and Gannon meets various old people and gets lectures from Arcade Gannon each time they meet his old friends. He secretly leaves Willow's dog, J.T., along the way in Jacobstown and after finally recruiting all of the members, he informs them of his intent to help the Legion. Arcade Gannon yells at Fap for siding with the Legion and leaves his side. This doesn't concern Fap because he obtains the power armor from other members of the Enclave.
At the end of the episode, Aaron sings a variation of "When You Wish Upon a Star" from Pinocchio as Fap smacks NCR fighters with his new hammer he found earlier in the episode.
The quests played in this episode are "For Auld Lang Syne" and "Guess Who I Saw Today."
|45||Enslaving the Wasteland (FINALE)||Dec 29, 2015||Link|
| Now that Fap has obtained the power armor, he heads back to the Legion camp to get new orders from Caesar. Caesar has Fap talk to Legate Lanius to start the battle. Fap gushes over his awesome Roman armor and his bloody language. Fap wanting a cool Roman name, names himself Legate Lunatic.
As the battle starts, the sky turns red and Fap starts killing members of the NCR. The battle is quite easy because the "Ancient A Team" (Enclave remnants) joins their side. While it was not an oportune time, as they near the power plant, Willow starts singing so Fap has sex with her to make her shut her mouth. All members of the Enclave remnanats perish in battle.
Nearing the end of the battle, General Lee Oliver and Fap have a chat but neither wants to back down and surrender. After a tough battle with the NCR Rangers, Fap defeats General Lee Oliver with a teddy bear explosive.
Fap makes it back to Legate Lanius and the story of Fap P. Underboob comes to its conclusion.
In the ending slideshow, the audience learn the fate of the many factions that operated in New Vegas. Caesar himself awards Fap with the "Mean Jerk Asshole" Trophy and it turns out Rex didn't have the brain of Morgan Freeman but rather the brain of a really good Morgan Freeman impersonator from Wisconsin, among other things. Fap replaced his brain with a computer in order to get rid of the voice in his head. Interestingly enough, the voice of Emre turned out to be an alien trolling Fap from his computer. The alien was able to access Fap's brain by sending a signal to his metal plate installed in his brain during surgery.
The quest played in this episode is "Veni, Vidi, Vici."
See also Edit
|Fallout For Pimps|
|Seasons||Fallout 3 For Pimps||Fallout New Vegas For Pimps||Fallout 4 Pimps|
|Protagonists||Thrusty Puss||Fap P. Underboob||Humongous Nipple|
|Characters||Clover • "Conscience" • Dogmeat • Fawkes • Regis Christ • Steel Vaginas • Sticky||"Conscience" • Rex/Morgan Freeman • Veronica Santangelo • Willow||Bruce • "Conscience" • Dogmeat|
|Game Society series|
|Guys Vs Games||Disneyland Adventures • Farming Simulator • Gang Beasts • "Little Girl" Games • New Super Mario Bros. U • Ride to Hell • Scribblenauts|
|Games||7 Days to Die • Bloodborne • Dream Daddy • Enderal • Fallout 3 • Fallout New Vegas • Fallout 4 • Far Cry 4 • Far Cry Primal • For Honor • GTA V • Harry Potter Kinect • Huniepop • Life is Strange • Octodad • Pony Island • Saints Row IV • Skyrim (SE) • Yakuza 0|
|Compilations||After Dark • Angry Hunter • Kinect Garbage • Live Stream • Mario Kart Playoffs|
|Jason's Impressions||Christopher Walkenthrough • Morgan Freeman • Presidential Gamers|
|Sketch Comedy||7 Days to Die In Real Life • Pod VS Cast • Video Game Pitch|